When Chloe started Kindergarten I was really hoping she got the best, funniest, kindest, smartest, loveable, and affectionate teacher. You know someone like, well, her mom! I just wanted to know that Chloe would be with someone who loved her and appreciated her and would help her while she was gone from me and my influence ALL day. When I met her teacher I was kind of like, well, she got the worst of the 4 kindergarten teachers and fought in my heart and mind that I should not transfer her to another teacher. I thought, I better teach her a lesson, early on, that you need to learn from all types of people and everyone has something to give...you know that lesson! So, we stuck it out and I am really happy. As I have volunteered in her classroom I have gotten to know this teacher and really learned to appreciate her and where she comes from. No, she's not a thing like me, but man she has a lot to offer and Chloe is gaining great things from her.
That being said, at the beginning of the year Chloe's school held "code red" drills. Chloe came home from school after the first surprise drill and talked about the possibility of someone coming into their school and shooting or hurting her teacher or some of the kids. We talked and talked about this and I tried to reassure her little mind that something like that wouldn't happen but they need to be prepared jsut in case. In the back of my head just being incensed that we live in this day and age. I told her about when I was little how we had earthquake drills and fire drills. We talked about fire drills and tornado drills for around here. We shared the scripture "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear". Still, she had terrible dreams and was very afraid of school for a little while. Then they had another surprise drill and the dreams came back and the same questions. We wrote an email to the school and asked that if they were going to do a drill could they please let us know ahead of time, especially being parents of a very impressionable kindergartener. We never sent the email because she didn't talk about it as much.
When the event in Conneticut happened, I was in Chloe's class helping with her winter party. I was helping little hands and smiling faces glue and cut and sing and listen to stories and eat lots of sweets. I found out later at home and couldn't and still cannot read or watch anything about it without getting an enormous lump in my throat and tears washing down my cheeks.
Brad and I decided to not tell Chloe what happened. She is a very sensitive girl who is wise beyond her years. She understands cause and effect and right and wrong and in her small way believes in justice and that there is goodness all around. We wrote an email to the principal and her teacher and asked that if they would be saying anything about Conneticut that they would inform us and we would not send Chloe that day. Well, they didn't say anything. I went to Chloe's school that day and checked her out to go to lunch with us at Sam's Club because I could. I can be with my little kindergartner anytime of any day I want, so I did.
We were in the clear until yesterday. Chloe came home from school and started telling me about 20 kids and 6 teachers being shot and how the man pretended to lay on the ground dead so no one could get him in trouble. So for the next hour we talked about it. I just let her talk and talk and talk and ask and I didn't volunteer much more than just correcting what she had heard. I told her about all the angels that were there that day helping those kids and teachers and about the heros of that day. We talked about how they had code red drills at that school and the drills helped save many many children and teachers. We talked about a loving Heavenly Father who welcomed those precious kids home with loving arms. I told her that many many people use their agency for good but some use their agency to follow satan. It was quite spiritual and I kept it together for the most part. I know she knew there was more I wasn't saying but she just let me hug her and touch and kiss her cheeks.
A short while later I got a call from her kindergarten teacher. She just wanted to check in on Chloe and how she was handling what she heard. That night she sent us this email,
I have found that the older my children get, the less control I have over their environment. The best thing we can do is teach them what is right, be the best example that we can be, and surround them with people who emulate these same values. I talked with Melanie about Chloe's safety here at school and hope you both know that I would protect her as I would my own if anything or anyone ever tried to harm her.
So today I sat with her teacher in her class and helped the kids make snowflakes to send to Connecticut. We called them friendship snowflakes for some kids who needed some Christmas cheer. Her teacher invited me to come help out because she knew how the situation has affected me.
There is so much good in this world. Like the man who walked around with me at the grocery store today to find 3 different things at 3 different ends of the store. Or like the lady at the gym who loves my 2 little kids like her own grandkids. Like my friend who made 28 loaves of bread and delivered them to her son's elementary for the 28 people who lost their lives. Like the sweet parents of one of the sweet children who have chosen to forgive rather than to hate. And like my little Chloe's teacher who is a good and positive influence in Chloe's life and who i am more than happy leaving Chloe with each day.
