Dear Residency

Dear Residency,
I am really glad that January is almost over. Really, really, glad. It has been a long month, i'm not gonna lie. Nights are not my friend. Are there 60 days in January. It seems like it. January started pretty good and then January 2nd came and EZ got the worst sickness of his life. He called about 30 minutes after he had fallen asleep, which is a treat only reserved for me when Brad is gone for the night. I went in and he was covered in throw up. Red throw up because we had crystal light for dinner. I picked him up and we ran down the hall to the bathroom. During the run... he was throwing up. All down the hall. So we had a rough night. I layed out towels all along the path incase it "happened again" but it never happens again right where you lay the towels. EZ thought it was day so he asked to sit in my bed and play ipad. I explained that it was still night but he didn't get it. So it was a long night and pretty much that set the standard for the month of nights. I remember a few other things that happened this month. Our tree in the front yard broke and went sailing to the sidewalk, almost knocking Chloe out, the dishwasher broke, there is a burned stamp of the hot coils from the stove on the kitchen floor, the garage keeps breaking, and I think the car needs new breaks and an oil change.
So, residency I have to blame someone and you are the one that gets the blame. Husbands are needed at home at night. And daddys are needed at home at night! For the next week or so all 3 kids were very sick and mamma got a little sick, too. Lola decided she'd get all 6 teeth at once. Residency, really, couldn't you help her out and give her teeth one at a time? And why did you have to cause the weather to be so freezing cold and never send snow so that we could play outside in the "winter weather". And by the way, it is kind of hard to contain the noise level of an energetic 3 year old and a "talking" almost 1 year old. And way to stick it Brad by giving him the worst cough of his life and some freak fluid that covered his knee after his one chance to exercise and feel good. Nice one, Residency. Nice one!
But, atleast you made it so that Brad worked with some great people for his month of nights. Atleast, he got to eat some late night pizza for free and get his carbonated beverages for free. Atleast he wasn't stuck with having to pay for his food. That's be a real slap in the face at 3 am. And atleast during nights he gets his weekends off which made it so the wife could go out and run her long saturday runs with some cheerful faces. And thankgoodness, Residency, you pay for a YMCA membership that i take full advantage of every single morning at approximately 8:37. You do have some good points, but I can't see them when I am up at night by myself with 1,2 or 3 kids who can just sense that "something isn't the same".
But Residency, I guess I have to tell you something. Last year, I pretty much had not relationship with your or concept of just what you were or had to offer. I was busy cooking a baby and that is where all my energy went. You were in the background and really got a lot of the blame back then as well. But, you have taught me a lot. I kind of thought this Residency training was just for Brad to learn all about becoming the best and smartest doctor (which you have done a good job at. Thanks.) But you have also shown me that I am really pretty strong. I can do a lot of things effeciently and effectively. You've taught me that I am pretty smart and I am way more capable than I sometimes think. I feel like I am being stretched but also strengthened. This experience is very much "one of a kind". It's pretty hard to explain to anyone and most of the times I don't even bother trying. You and I have a pretty good relationship most of the time, don't we?!
And then Residency, just when I think that i'm really done with all of this and can't take it a moment more,  I look at the calendar and see that, Residency, we are halfway done with you. It's been nice getting to know you this last 18 months but I'm really gonna start saying my slow goodbyes as each month we tick off is one more notch down the hill instead of up it.
Well, I was just checking in. It's been real!
Mel

Mothering

I love my kids. I really do. I love being their mom. I don't use this blog to complain or rant or do much anything other than post pictures so my family can see how the kids are changing and growing and what we're doing. But I am happy when i blog as my thoughts drift to my missionary friends who's memories have meant so much to me in my life, or to my high school friends who I reconnect with every once in awhile, or to my med school friends who were there with me from the "beginning" of this doctor journey, or to my illinois friends...all of them...who are my family now. I think that I blog to capture MY little world and put it out there into THE world. It makes me happy if you read it and it makes you smile or wonder what we're doing or makes you remember our friendship or makes you wish we lived closer. I love reading your blogs. I even read a few strangers blogs, though I swear everytime I am wasting my life, but in some strange way it's like reality tv. I love looking at people's pretty pictures or things they do together as a family or their whitty writing. I do know that it doesn't do me any good to compare myself to them or to you because we are all just us trying to make a go at what we've got. That's why if I do read a craft blog I have commited to making a craft from said blog, or if I read some advice on a blog than I talk about said advice to someone so that I have used that time spent for good. So today, I'm really just glad that I'm a mother of these 3 amazing kids. 

And here is a summary post of our life:

 After several months of telling EZ that "poop in your diaper is disgusting and it stinks" he finally decided that what we were saying was true and he just potty trained himself. I was worried because Chloe was so easy and he really was easy too once he actually got on the toilet. I think this picture is so funny. Even now I am laughing at it again.

 The cute undie bum picture.

 Brad has been working nights. (more on that for a different post) and the kids and I have been so sick. So with Brad gone I am the sole supporter of the sickies at night when it's the hardest. EZ has had the worst cough of his life and i'll be honest, I hate the sound of coughing. It gets under my nails and I want to scream. Ironic, considering my Brad lived with me for about 2 years with super bad misdiagnosed asthma and i coughed each and every night for hours. He's much better than me. But anyway, EZ is finally getting better. I took this picture to display the bow crown on Blue's head.

 And this one. She turned 11 months, though you'd think she was 6 months. She's a petite little spitfite who knows what she wants. She shakes her head at food when she's done. she closes her eyes if she doesn't want what you are giving her. She finally got one tooth on the bottom. One day I was looking in her mouth and discovered she had 4 more on the top. Yay. I'm pretty on top of this "parenting-child-number-3-business" She stands now. She loves when I put my head on her tummy or tickle her neck. She still loved to hold my hair and suck her fingers but has resorted to holding brad's hoodie sweatshirt tie in place of my hair.

 And she finally did "so-big" with her arms in the pic below.

Miss Bluebird. Only she would quietly go in the bathroom, alone, and then come out and casually say, I pulled my tooth out, and resume what she was doing! I screamed and shouted and got the camera. At which point she started crying and said, "dad is going to be so sad." I asked her why and she said,"because I am growing up."

 

Tonight, EZ and Miss Belle played naked for about 20 minutes while Bluie and i read a book. She is reading so well now and I am in constant awe of her accomplishments (as I know all parents are of their kids)
And just so you know, I have walked over the same hoodie sweatshirt on the floor about 10 times today and pushed the same stack of books around the counter and not put them away. Just keeping it real.
But...i have commited to have a spotless kitchen table each night and making each day better than I found it. Also keeping it real!

This guy.

9 years ago. We were married on one of the iciest, coldest, dreamiest days. I love my Brad for many many reasons. He does so many small things for me. He is good and kind and I know I am so lucky and probably take him for granted all the time. I am so blessed and the kids are so blessed.

This is our first Christmas together. Ahh. I think right after this picture was taken I threw away this beautiful art print he gave me. So begins Melanie's problem with throwing things away (remember: 2 gifts cards to Sportsman Warehouse, all of his clothes when we moved, his brand new birthday shorts, my new sports bra, my belts, yikes...it's a real problem)

Just a few days ago. 9 years has been sweet. Very, very sweet.

Christmas in pictures

Making our annual Gingerbread house. I love that this year, the company decided we couldn't handle gluing the house together so they did it for us. You just lifted the whole thing out and decorated. Tonight, a week later, we are now eating the candy off while we play games. Love that part.

Chloe was out playing in the first show fall and she came in and said, "a big tree just fell down." Of course I just kept doing what I was doing. Later that night Brad came home and said, "did you see part of our big tree fell down". So, I'm glad Chloe wasn't near it. The next day I called the city to come clean it up. We're renters folks...who does the clean up when stuff happens!! So, anyway, the city came and told me that we had to clean the gigantic tree up. I think Brad was excited to use a chainsaw, but instead I charmed the guy into just cutting it down while he was there and he did!! They earned some rootbeers and cookies.

I like to coordinate our clothes when we can. I take after my cute sister.

And one night...out came this candy dish full of delicious surprises.

B-rad's homemade hot cocoa. The best!

So, this is our 3rd Christmas celebrating on our own away from extended family. We have kept up the bowling tradition so far. This year we invited our illinois family. I'm so glad everyone came. We will have to invite more next year!

This little one loves all thing momma. She loves to hold my hair and stand by my legs while I cook and stand up behind my back while i'm sitting down.

Our Christmas Eve program.

And some Christmas jammies, though our Elf Jingle brought them December 1st so we could enjoy them all season. He even got me a pair.

Christmas Eve movies or maybe this picture was another night of movies. I love all Christmas movies so we had several movie nights during the season.

It is just not possible to capture the excitement of Christmas morning on camera. But here I try. EZ got a Jake and the Neverland Pirates boat, a "real fast black car, and some space station toys among lots of spoils from grandparents, cousins, sisters, and parents.

Chloe got a new art board for her to do "school" on and school she has played every moment since.

And My B-rad.

From the heart

When Chloe started Kindergarten I was really hoping she got the best, funniest, kindest, smartest, loveable, and affectionate teacher. You know someone like, well, her mom! I just wanted to know that Chloe would be with someone who loved her and appreciated her and would help her while she was gone from me and my influence ALL day. When I met her teacher I was kind of like, well, she got the worst of the 4 kindergarten teachers and fought in my heart and mind that I should not transfer her to another teacher. I thought, I better teach her a lesson, early on, that you need to learn from all types of people and everyone has something to give...you know that lesson! So, we stuck it out and I am really happy. As I have volunteered in her classroom I have gotten to know this teacher and really learned to appreciate her and where she comes from. No, she's not a thing like me, but man she has a lot to offer and Chloe is gaining great things from her.
That being said, at the beginning of the year Chloe's school held "code red" drills. Chloe came home from school after the first surprise drill and talked about the possibility of someone coming into their school and shooting or hurting her teacher or some of the kids. We talked and talked about this and I tried to reassure her little mind that something like that wouldn't happen but they need to be prepared jsut in case. In the back of my head just being incensed that we live in this day and age. I told her about when I was little how we had earthquake drills and fire drills. We talked about fire drills and tornado drills for around here. We shared the scripture "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear". Still, she had terrible dreams and was very afraid of school for a little while. Then they had another surprise drill and the dreams came back and the same questions. We wrote an email to the school and asked that if they were going to do a drill could they please let us know ahead of time, especially being parents of a very impressionable kindergartener. We never sent the email because she didn't talk about it as much.
When the event in Conneticut happened, I was in Chloe's class helping with her winter party. I was helping little hands and smiling faces glue and cut and sing and listen to stories and eat lots of sweets. I found out later at home and couldn't and still cannot read or watch anything about it without getting an enormous lump in my throat and tears washing down my cheeks.
Brad and I decided to not tell Chloe what happened. She is a very sensitive girl who is wise beyond her years. She understands cause and effect and right and wrong and in her small way believes in justice and that there is goodness all around. We wrote an email to the principal and her teacher and asked that if they would be saying anything about Conneticut that they would inform us and we would not send Chloe that day. Well, they didn't say anything. I went to Chloe's school that day and checked her out to go to lunch with us at Sam's Club because I could. I can be with my little kindergartner anytime of any day I want, so I did.
We were in the clear until yesterday. Chloe came home from school and started telling me about 20 kids and 6 teachers being shot and how the man pretended to lay on the ground dead so no one could get him in trouble. So for the next hour we talked about it. I just let her talk and talk and talk and ask and I didn't volunteer much more than just correcting what she had heard. I told her about all the angels that were there that day helping those kids and teachers and about the heros of that day. We talked about how they had code red drills at that school and the drills helped save many many children and teachers. We talked about a loving Heavenly Father who welcomed those precious kids home with loving arms. I told her that many many people use their agency for good but some use their agency to follow satan. It was quite spiritual and I kept it together for the most part. I know she knew there was more I wasn't saying but she just let me hug her and touch and kiss her cheeks.
A short while later I got a call from her kindergarten teacher. She just wanted to check in on Chloe and how she was handling what she heard. That night she sent us this email, I have found that the older my children get, the less control I have over their environment.  The best thing we can do is teach them what is right, be the best example that we can be, and surround them with people who emulate these same values.  I talked with Melanie about Chloe's safety here at school and hope you both know that I would protect her as I would my own if anything or anyone ever tried to harm her.  
So today I sat with her teacher in her class and helped the kids make snowflakes to send to Connecticut. We called them friendship snowflakes for some kids who needed some Christmas cheer. Her teacher invited me to come help out because she knew how the situation has affected me.
There is so much good in this world. Like the man who walked around with me at the grocery store today to find 3 different things at 3 different ends of the store. Or like the lady at the gym who loves my 2 little kids like her own grandkids. Like my friend who made 28 loaves of bread and delivered them to her son's elementary for the 28 people who lost their lives. Like the sweet parents of one of the sweet children who have chosen to forgive rather than to hate. And like my little Chloe's teacher who is a good and positive influence in Chloe's life and who i am more than happy leaving Chloe with each day.

Our Tree

So, I added myself as an author to the blog and apparantly I am allowed to post some more pictures. We'll see how far I can go. Thanks for your advice. 

This is our Christmas Tree. We have had a fake one for the past 5 years while we've been in school and we've been traveling back to Utah for Christmas. So this year...we ventured out and cut down our very first tree.

 We took one look and new this was the tree for us...though we trudged around some more looking.

 we could've been wearing shorts. It was a very warm night.

 I love B-rad at moments like this. He is such a man. Doing man things. I love it.

 She was there.

And so was I. We got our tree early because our "Elf" usually comes once the tree is up for him to leave us some Christmas jammies to enjoy all season.

No more storage

Help me!! I have no more storage and can't upload anymore pictures. Why is this happening?? Emily??
So, please answer the above question if you view this blog and know the answer.
I was going to do a terrific post about how we cut down out first Christmas tree. "it's a bute Clark".
Anyway, I hope to get back to blogging once I figure out how to do pictures again.
Mel